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Author Topic: Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia  (Read 4479 times)

Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« on: February 03, 2003, 07:56:49 PM »
Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
by Outpost Tabloid Reporteer Philip Ulrich

Mr. Cheese, a moldy, swissy, bullet-holed cheese came back to life nine o'clock this morning. Millions were shocked by the resurrection. Then Mr. Cheese set out on a military campaign to conquer Australia.

Our reporter was there at the moment of the resurrection, and asked Mr. Cheese these questions:

Q: You're alive, Mr. Cheese?
A: My name is Evil Mr. Cheese.

Q: I think Zircon would disapprove of your new title.
A: Zircon wouldn't let me go. I wanted to roam free, and conquer Australia.

Q: Why conquer Australia?
A: To free all the captivated cheeses of the world.

Q: Why not conquer Wisconsin?
A: Too cold right now.

After that, Mr. Cheese grabbed an AK-47 as he grew arms. I ran, as he fired at the press, ending the lives of a few distinguised reporters, including some General. He then hijacked an airplane.

After landing in Australia, he called upon all cheeses to rise up and revolt. With a few brilliant tactics and strategies, Mr. Cheese conquered Australia in less than two hours. The UN have called on him to cease to exist, or his army will be melted by thermonuclear radiation. Upon hearing this, posters here then were able to get knux out of Australia.

How could such a lovable cheese turn. How could he grow arms and conquer Australia? How come I'm out of beef? I guess we will find out next time, I get to write an article.

---philipu2001                              
« Last Edit: February 03, 2003, 08:01:43 PM by philipu2001 »
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Offline Zircon

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2003, 08:59:04 AM »
I dont understand how he could do this to me  :(

I woke up the other night and to my surprise Evil mr Cheese was standing on top of me with cheesecake  :blink:
He showed it in my face then tied me up...  :no:

He forced me to eat his dead brethren...                              
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2003, 09:06:52 AM »
Maybe an Evil version of him was resurrected. Hey, CK9! Where are your guns? We have an evil cheese to hunt. (Must do it before ICBMs launch)

---philipu2001                              
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Offline Zircon

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2003, 10:05:10 AM »
Maybe someone possesed him  :blink: But who  :unsure:

Maybe it was someone from around here  :ph34r:

Could kiler be involved  :huh:

Im going to have a cup of tea and think about this                              
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2003, 10:10:37 AM »
If we say it was Killer, people will claim we are making him a scapegoat for the fun of it. We haven't seen CK9 lately. I'm getting some information now. THE MICROBE DID IT!

---philipu2001                              
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Offline Zircon

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2003, 10:15:01 AM »
OMG  :blink:
...
..
.

I dont have any tea left  :no:
(long pause)

*Stares into tea cup*

Oh what were you saying  :yes: That's probably correct yes  ;)

I need some more tea...

Oh and call out the pope we will need his services to clear out the evil spirit...
I've heard CK9's marbles hold some psychic power... Lets get them  :)                              
« Last Edit: February 04, 2003, 10:17:46 AM by Zircon »
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2003, 10:23:24 AM »
Okay, let's imagine there are two targets.

1) A evil cheesy dictator

2) An innocent poster's marbles

Which one SHOULD you go after?

---philipu2001                              
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Offline Zircon

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2003, 10:29:36 AM »
You go after the "evil cheesy dictator" because i dont have the guts to face him after what he did...  :ph34r:

While i get CK9's marbles and come assist you later to cleanse Evil Mr Cheese's body of the evil spirit  :)

Zircon: CK9... Did you find your marbles  :unsure:                              
« Last Edit: February 04, 2003, 10:35:09 AM by Zircon »
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2003, 10:36:56 AM »
Anti-Blight, that's what I need! It brought the second Mr. Cheese to life when it went through Africa, it will save Mr. Cheese. (ICBMs launch in 12 hours) I need to book an imaginary flight! Wait, I also need to anti-Blight. "Hello operator, give me the phone number for Philip Ulrich"
"1-555-555-5555"
"Thank you."
"Hello?"
"How can I make anti-Blight?"
"Find some cheddar cheese, put mayonese and Vanilla Coka on it. Then spread some CL-20 on the cheese and detonate the cheese on a landmass."
"Thanks!"
Well, now I make the anti-Blight!"

---philipu2001                              
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Offline Zircon

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2003, 02:00:58 PM »
Pssst, Philip is talking to himself again...  :unsure:
...
Or maybe it's his evil twin he's talking to :blink:

Where's my tea !!!

(Mr 8 bit Squirrel)                              
« Last Edit: February 04, 2003, 02:03:00 PM by Zircon »
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Offline RipperKhan

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2003, 03:22:31 PM »
you guys have to much time on your hands lol ...... j/k                              
« Last Edit: February 04, 2003, 03:24:20 PM by RipperKhan »
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2003, 03:29:24 PM »
Too much time. I think I have too little to get everything I want to do done.

---philipu2001                              
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generalkiler

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2003, 05:29:16 PM »
Shoots philip with a magnum sniper gun

Job well done!                              
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #13 on: February 04, 2003, 06:07:40 PM »
The blast from that sniper knocked me over. I was wearing my bullet proof vest, as all posters should.

---philipu2001                              
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Zircon at APU...

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2003, 02:34:57 AM »
Thank god he's fine...

Philip: Oh gosh B)

Zircon: Not you ! I just found my lost teabag :)


I have much too little time... *slurps tea*                              
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Offline OP2Patriot

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Mr. Cheese Resurrects; Conquers Australia
« Reply #15 on: February 05, 2003, 09:04:58 AM »
I've found Evil Mr. Cheese's place. Throwing anti-Blight and, wait, the cheese molded on my plane flight! (Snap of a bullet heard) Aaaa! It's Killer, and he's out for revenge. I must go in and kill the cheese, again.

---philipu2001                              
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