Author Topic: A Man And His Bird...  (Read 1773 times)

Offline Tellaris

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A Man And His Bird...
« on: November 17, 2005, 06:04:37 PM »
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger,
fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls
out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
"A hamburger, fries, and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks
the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato,
and salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be
$32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity
any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up
with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic
and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and
offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay
for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right
amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for
a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you
want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall
chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I
say."  
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Offline Hooman

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2005, 06:08:18 PM »
:o  ... I'm speechless. That was... odd.

I kinda like that exact change wish. That one is clever.  

Offline leeor_net

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2005, 08:41:28 PM »
that was... AWESOME!  (thumbsup)  :lol:  

Offline CK9

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2005, 08:50:01 PM »
sorry, the laughing is no longer there for me, it's a popular joke in my town
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline Sirbomber

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2005, 02:24:44 PM »
I thought it was because ostriches are the dumbest birds on the planet?
One time I watched them follow their own footprints for hours. Then they saw a crow and went running for their lives. Then when they thought they were safe they stuck their head in the ground. After that they went back to following their own footprints. Clever birds, hm?
"As usual, colonist opinion is split between those who think the plague is a good idea, and those who are dying from it." - Outpost Evening Star

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Offline Hooman

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2005, 06:23:34 PM »
I've heard something about ostriches being observed for many many years, and have never actually been observed to stick their heads in the ground. If that's the case, where did that stereotype come from?
 

Offline Sirbomber

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A Man And His Bird...
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2005, 07:50:27 PM »
I don't know, but they kept sticking their heads in the ground, or at least the grass.
"As usual, colonist opinion is split between those who think the plague is a good idea, and those who are dying from it." - Outpost Evening Star

Outpost 2 Coding 101 Tutorials