Author Topic: fun to funny quotes  (Read 2578 times)

Offline CK9

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fun to funny quotes
« on: July 20, 2004, 12:50:18 PM »
thanks to the link supplied by kirby, I found some great quotes.  And luckily the cursing is already taken care of, so it's just copy and paste :)

Quote
Outpost 2's Quotes
Back to home

Kirby- "No one's a virgin, life screws us all"

Shase- "DONT CONTRADICT THE TREKKIE!!!" {here's one plym will like}

unknown- "All the genius in the world is no match for natural stupidity!"

unknown-"...No energizers"

<PA>Hawk: "Got Flare?"

Paladin- "Good day."

Leader of 13 Geckos- "When the going gets tough, the tough "geckoing"!"

Dodo, to 9 ball- "WAKE UP YOU F***ING BI*** HO MONKEY BI*** AS* RAPER!!!

 
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline ZeusBD

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2004, 01:10:49 PM »
Here are some quotes from famous people. Some funny, some serious, and some that just make you think.




quote[0]="Death is not the worst than can happen to men. -Plato";

quote[1]="History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[2]="Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil. -Plato";  

quote[3]="The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men. -Plato";

quote[4]="Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -Plato";

quote[5]="You cannot conceive the many without the one. -Plato,Dialogues,Apology";

quote[6]="False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. -Plato, Dialogues, Phaedo";

quote[7]="The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions. -Plato, Dialogues, Phaedo";

quote[8]="Everything that deceives may be said to enchant. -Plato, The Republic";

quote[9]="The soul of man is immortal and imperishable. -Plato, The Republic";

quote[10]="It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[11]="It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[12]="One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[13]="Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[14]="Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[15]="The price of greatness is responsibility. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[16]="There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[17]="We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[18]="We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire...Give us the tools and we will finish the job. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[19]="It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[20]="The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[21]="For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[22]="Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[23]="We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it. -Sir Winston Churchill";

quote[24]="Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. -Steven Wright";

quote[25]="Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -Steven Wright";

quote[26]="I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. -Steven Wright";

quote[27]="I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. -Steven Wright";

quote[28]="I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright";

quote[29]="I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. -Steven Wright";

quote[30]="If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? -Steven Wright";

quote[31]="It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. -Steven Wright";

quote[32]="It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. -Steven Wright";

quote[33]="Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -Steven Wright";

quote[34]="Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?' -Steven Wright";

quote[35]="Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. -Steven Wright";

quote[36]="My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. -Steven Wright";

quote[37]="What's another word for Thesaurus? -Steven Wright";

quote[38]="There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. -Steven Wright";

quote[39]="When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -Steven Wright";

quote[40]="You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright";

quote[41]="Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. -Bill Cosby";

quote[42]="I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill Cosby";

quote[43]="The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. -Bill Cosby";

quote[44]="We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail. -George W. Bush";

quote[45]="You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature. -George W. Bush";

quote[46]="Americans are a free people, who know that freedom is the right of every person and the future of every nation. The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world; it is God's gift to humanity. -George W. Bush";

quote[47]="There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. -Bill Clinton";

quote[48]="When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page. -Bill Clinton";

quote[49]="When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it and didn't inhale and never tried it again. -Bill Clinton";

quote[50]="If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? -Steven Wright";

quote[51]="My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed. -Steven Wright";

quote[52]="I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world. -Steven Wright";

quote[53]="When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic. -Steven Wright";

quote[54]="They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. -Steven Wright";

quote[55]="If dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed? -Steven Wright";

quote[56]="I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious! -Steven Wright";

quote[57]="I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. -Steven Wright";

quote[58]="I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes. -Steven Wright";

quote[59]="Black holes are where God divided by zero. -Steven Wright";

quote[60]="Gray hair is God's graffiti. -Bill Cosby";

quote[61]="A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -Bill Cosby";

quote[62]="We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";

quote[63]="The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";

quote[64]="When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";

quote[65]="A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";

quote[66]="Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";

quote[67]="In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. -Franklin D. Roosevelt";
 
In the dark I'm at home, in the light I'm on the battlefield. A Dragon's life is a constant struggle for survival. But in the end, we will prevail.
Go check out my site: http://www.frankandami.com
E-mail me: ZeusBD at yahoo.com

Offline CK9

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2004, 01:13:53 PM »
Whoever pulled those together seems to be a big fan of Plato.  Of course, seeing how great a philospher he was, I can't blame them.
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline ZeusBD

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2004, 02:10:58 PM »
I did. I went around getting quotes. I came to a site that had thousands of them, but I didn't want to look through all of them, so I just picked out a few various people.
In the dark I'm at home, in the light I'm on the battlefield. A Dragon's life is a constant struggle for survival. But in the end, we will prevail.
Go check out my site: http://www.frankandami.com
E-mail me: ZeusBD at yahoo.com

Offline Betaray

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2004, 07:16:29 PM »
heres some of my favorate quotes

Memorable Quotes



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Meatwad: Shake, where is my popsicle?
Shake: Please, wait a second!
Meatwad: I require a popsicle every fifteen minutes, you obviously did not read the memo.
Shake: Is this your memo? I don’t even know what this is!
Meatwad: You sicken me with your lies
Shake: I’ll make you some right away!
Meatwad: Make me some? Please, do not insult what little intelligence I have. I need it now!
Shake: Then I’ll go to the store, please, sir.
Meatwad: Yes you will, now what is the magic word, b****?
Shake: Please, let me go to the store and get popsicles for you, thank you, sire!
Meatwad: That’s right! You’d better run boy and bring back some chocolate syrup too, or your fate is sealed.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Frylock: Damnit, he needs his brain, otherwise, he's just gonna float around forever saying 'do what now.'
Meatwad: Do what now?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Meatwad: Everybody hates me because they die or get hurt.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Frylock: That's soap? Really, well, it kind of smells like waste.
Emory: Well, one man's waste is another man's soap, you know what I mean, guys?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Meatwad: Look, he gave me this chrome sled. Boy, I hope it snows soon, don't you, Carl?
Carl: Oh yeah, can't wait, a winter wonderland. Now, let me see that sled, it's my friggin hubcap.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Frylock: Here, how'd you like to get down with some real gangstaz, from the 15th century.
(Frylock shows Meatwad some Bach and Beethoven cd's)
Meatwad: Batch? Bee-toven!? Are they down with the pee pants?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Carl: Hey, which one of you guys have been playing 'i like candy' for a friggin week?
Frylock: it was your other neighbors
Master Shake: meatwad
Carl: You know what, at this point, it doesn't matter because it keeps running inside my head and it won't leave unless I blow it out, with a bullet.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Meatwad: Where the damn presents?
Frylock: It's the middle of the day, Meatwad, that wasn't Santa Claus, okay?
Meatwad: Ah, well, you know maybe Santa's just sort of getting a jump start on things this year, 'cause, you know, statistics they show that there are more children in the world today... That's China's fault.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Carl: ahh, oh, damnit!
Shake: You're all right.
Carl: No, don't worry about me. I fell two stories, I'm fine.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Master Shake: I got rid of my teeth at a young age because i'm straight, teeth are for gay people.
Meatwad: If teeth make me gay then sign me up, 'cause i wish i had them.
 
I am the nincompoop, I eat atomic bombs for breakfest, fusion bombs for lunch, and anti-matter bombs for dinner

I just hope they don't explode

xfir

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2004, 09:58:25 PM »
Complements of bash.org

-----

<Felon> What is a leet? Is that a type of ferret?

--

<Guilty> My friends cousin's mom told her kids that if you cursed online the police came to arrest you
<Guilty> So they would type like "Go to h!ll!"

--

<[KoG]^Deeshay> I'll beat you when I get a modem that isnt controlled by a rat in a wheel

--

<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?

--

<djv> psykiv..sorry about your loss
<djv> BUY A MACINTOSH NEXT TIME.
<djv> ;)
<The-Virus> why buy a mac
<The-Virus> its like buying a car thats only compatible with 10% of the roads

--

<emlodro> what country is exe
<think> binary islands

--

<Hendrix> Its fun to go out in the cold weather and watch smokers pass out becuse they dont know when they're done exhaling

--

<]RS[Sleepy> See, Canadians might not have a powerful army, but we can have stable @#$%ing servers :D
<Daffelz> yeah because the one guy in your army is a computer whiz

--


Offline CK9

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2004, 10:49:57 PM »
"If life has a purpose, then why do people try to make their own path in life?"
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline Betaray

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2004, 08:12:04 AM »
There once was a dog, and he farted on a log, do the coolwhip-Betaray

remember this one, it will get you far
« Last Edit: July 23, 2004, 08:12:22 AM by Betaray »
I am the nincompoop, I eat atomic bombs for breakfest, fusion bombs for lunch, and anti-matter bombs for dinner

I just hope they don't explode

Offline CK9

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2004, 01:06:02 PM »
"5/3 of people don't get fractions" - T-shirt
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline mustang09-06

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #9 on: July 23, 2004, 10:14:57 PM »
Man go to bed w/ itchy bum wake up w/ smelly finger.  

                                                      -Chinese Proverb-

Offline CK9

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fun to funny quotes
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2004, 12:05:58 AM »
"Never underestimate the power of a fat man with a buzzer"

reference to Drew Carrey?
CK9 in outpost
Iamck in runescape (yes, I still play...sometimes...)
srentiln in minecraft (I like legos, and I like computer games...it was only a matter of time...) and youtube...
xdarkinsidex on deviantart

yup, I have too many screen names

Offline mustang09-06

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« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2004, 10:09:18 PM »
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

                                                  -Chinese Proverb-
« Last Edit: July 24, 2004, 10:14:10 PM by mustang09-06 »