Secret Microsoft Windows Source Code

[Flashy]

Did you ever wonder why Windows is so amazingly fast and and the best operating system ever? Well, here is the reason:

Code: [Select]

/*TOP SECRET Microsoft(c)  Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date: Summer 1998 
Original version date : Aug 1994*/
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{       
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();           
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache()) disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt);
else system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}--

[evecolonycamander]

why don't i believe this... oh yea its in the spam folder. sorry irrelevant comment

[Hidiot]

You don't believe this, ecc, because you don't read it and get it. You can then believe that this is a satire.

[Spikerocks101]

Lol, pretty funny. I seen "make_50_megabyte_swapfile();", and was thinking "well, that isn't big at all" but seen it was for windows 98.

[alice]

On the bright side, it will never completely destroy the OS..

search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();

[Freeza-CII]

loop nothing lol you dont even need that i believe