Laptop was stolen

[Hooman]

Bah! My laptop was stolen.

Unlike a usual theft though, I got a text message attempting to ransom it's return for $150. The joke was on them though. It's not worth that much. It was bought from a second hand store about 10 years ago. I ran a backup maybe 2-3 days before it was stolen, and hadn't much used it since then. Instead I decided to mess with the thieves when they called to make their ransom demand.

"Hello"
"You want laptop back..."
"Hello"
"You want..."
"Hello"
"You want laptop back, pay..."
"Hello, I can't hear"
"You want laptop..."
"Can you speak up"
"You want laptop back..."
"Sorry, the connection isn't very good, can you say again?"
"You want ..."
"Hello?"
...


I did that for two days before the accomplice called me to say "hello" at random intervals. :p Sounds like they're learning. Now if only they'd learn to properly appraise laptops before stealing them.

I heard through the grape vine that my laptop made it round to various pawn shops, where not one would buy it for so much as $10. I had to laugh at that.


In other news, I'm currently without a Windows  machine.

[Sirbomber]

Now, if you had just installed a remote-detonated bomb into your laptop, you could have been the one ransoming them.

Sometimes it pays to be paranoid. 

[Hooman]

It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you! 

Although, that idea is tempting. It also ensures no sensitive data is compromised. I do however lose the hardwrae. Maybe just have it set off a Rick Roll in an infinite loop instead. And solar panels so the battery doesn't die.

[Sirbomber]

You've lost the hardware anyways at that point, remember?  Because, you know, it's been stolen.

[onehand]

Maybe just have it set off a Rick Roll in an infinite loop instead.

Or a Dennis Nedry loop. "Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word!"

[Hooman]

Lol.

Last I heard, the laptop kidnapper still has my hardware, so there is a remote chance of recovering it. Certainly a greater chance than if a bomb inside of it went off.


Funny how I ran into one of laptop kidnappers accidentally a few days later. We sat and had a nice pleasant cordial conversation. At least we did up until the laptop was mentioned, then things went quickly downhill.