My Views On Divorce Rates

[op2rules]

This randomly came to me a minute ago talking to somebody, and I just HAVE to write it all out because It's fresh now and it's interesting.

What my main point is here (and I will start with it) is that for a couple to last, they two partners must not change. This is why highschool relationships fail, because at a younger age as a person your undergoing a lot of new ideas and concepts, and its only a short amount of time before you're a completely different person than you were before. Now the idea is that for a couple to last, they must grow/change together. So possibly 100s of years ago this could work at a younger age as there was less complexions involved, such as moving away for education, or parenting methods, etc.

Anyways so that all down, back to the bigger part, why divorce rates are rising. So obviously everyone's great grandparents are still together, and also everyone's parents are separated. And by everyone I mean general majority. Either way, only a fool would try to argue otherwise regardless of if you fall into that category. So the only possible cause with substantial effect on this is the fact that the two partners get bored of each other, or they each go their own path. So why didn't this happen in earlier years? Well the answer is simple, the only thing now that wasn't before is technology. With all sorts of new communication methods availible, TV, internet, music, etc. Each partner is introduced to hundreds of outside influences that the other is NOT. As a result, this slowly changes the person and causes the inevitable separation to occur.

[Sirbomber]

People are getting divorces because it's no longer taboo to get a divorce.

[op2rules]

Yea actually that's what my cousin said, he actually completely overthrew my entire idea with that main point in mind.

[Arklon]

the only thing now that wasn't before is technology

Wrong. For one, that statement is, well, incorrect, and two, correlation is not synonymous with causation. For example, contrary to what the Pastafarians believe, the declining number of pirates sailing the seven seas and the increase in global temperature over the past several hundred years are not actually related at all.

[Sirbomber]

OP2 needs Pirates.  New "colony" anyone?

[Hooman]

I think I disagree with pretty much everything you said.

It's not surprising that divorce rates were low back when it was not possible to get a divorce.

Some highschool relationships do last.

Long distance relationships also sometimes last, and each such partner would undergo many separate influences. Particularly if it's a cross national or cross cultural relationship. In this case in particular, technology is likely quite helpful. Think about the impact of easy long distance transportation, and easy to use cheap long distance communications. This will likely aid long distance relationships. I also get the feeling (although I have no numbers to back it up) that mixed marriages seem to be more prevalent among the younger generations, and I'd imagine that transportation and communication technology are a key factor there.

People grow, usually in ways that leave them still recognizable, and not every relationship ends because of it. I think it's more about people being committed to each other than not changing.
 

[BlackBox]

I think "personal growth" does have a fair bit to do with it however. There are exceptions to every rule but I think a lot of it (especially for people who get married early on in their life compared to most people) may be overly willing to "jump into it" right away (the whole love vs. lust vs. infatuation idea here), speaking for myself at least, being in a relationship teaches you a lot about yourself emotionally, what are normal expectations in a relationship, so on and so forth.

This being said, people might kinda "jump the gun" on getting married (meet the other person, become infatuated with him/her, feel like they are "perfect" for each other and get married without taking the time to emotionally develop their relationship -- instead this inevitably happens after they are married, at which point they realize that they really aren't a great match for each other). In short it could probably often turn out to be a lack of emotional maturity / etc to be able to realize the weight of making a commitment such as marriage.

From a societal aspect, I do tend to think that (at least in western cultures) commitment is seen as synonymous with "being tied down" which is seen as highly undesirable in a culture where people are highly mobile and have exposure to many different people and ideas. This may also be combined with the idea that marriage is not a permanent commitment ("well if it goes poorly I can just get a divorce"), unfortunately ignoring the legal headaches that are created (especially if kids are involved). In addition, I figure there is probably some kind of negative feedback loop, where as more people get divorces, this is seen as a "normal, average" thing and so there is less shame in doing so.

However, these are all theories to me; I haven't been married and I don't plan on getting married anytime soon (not that I could get legally married under the jurisdiction I live in anyhow).

[CK9]

One thought I have heard time and time again that I think holds some water is how many more people are wearing stuff that augments the way they smell.

There have been many studies that seem to indicate that people with different inherited immunities are less likely to find eachother stinky than if they had the same inherited immunities.  This is brought down to the pharamones (sp?) that are given off and precieved.  By using all the perfumes and colognes and other stuff out there, we are masking these natural odors that were used for so long to better match us.

I'm not saying it's the main reason, but it does make sense that it has an impact.  A bigger impact could be attributed to the fact that many societies have undergone a change that allowed for women to have the same rights as men, and therefore are less likely to put up with a spouce that is either busive in some way or who has an incompatible personality.

[Freeza-CII]

Well All I got to say is your view about highschool people changing randomly and rapidly isnt 100% alot of people dont change or change on a whim. So there isnt a set way that when your such and such age or in the stages or horemones rapid death changes. I know alot of people that are still married from highschool or have been together since highschool.  I also know the opposite tho. There are really to many variables for any one person to say it happens here it happens here no it happens here.

How ever reasons that people are getting more divorces.  In my opinion.  

They realized they were in the marrage for the wrong reasons.
They married a abusive retard and finally got rid of the other half for a better life.
There is also less religious involvment in marrage so people are more inclined to get divorced when there isnt the possiblity the whole town will come out and ostrize them to death or actually stone them.
Also there is probably the number one reason i think people get divorced. Spite/revenge.

[starbuck]

I’ve have been married for 30 years and my wife and I have grown as an individual and a couple.  I think that the divorce rate is rising because the commitment of a marriage is not there.  My son, who is planning to get married, was talking to me about commitment to his wife and says “If it doesn’t work out, I can get a divorce”.  To me, that is not an attitude to have  for a relationship to last for any length of time.  Unfortunately, I heard that statement from other people getting ready to get married.