1) "When did we get bleu cheese?" "We didn't...that's last weeks mozerella"
2) 'okay...which is the breaks again?'
3) "heh, this guy can't hurt my HP! Oh ****! Run you stupid character!"
4) "peanuts...butter...can't be too different"
5) "awwwe, the cat's just a little scared"
6) "I wonder if this knife blade is still sharp..."
7) "I can outrun that car..."
(only 2 of these have happened to me, but it's so fun to think about the others XD)