Author Topic: Lost Generations: Lost Beginnings  (Read 2243 times)

Offline black phantom

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Lost Generations: Lost Beginnings
« on: June 05, 2011, 06:44:31 PM »
i'm back and this time i think i got the right formula here targeted to the op fans and sorry for my first ever post being spam.
this one starts on board the star-ship orbiting what is known as "New Terra", and i don't know how to put in indents so this will have to do for now.

enjoy part one

"time is useless to those who know nothing about it"
-AAM

log entry: 15052883
last accessed by: unknown user

in the black of the empty space a lone ship flies to a destination unknown to all but the commanders of the star-ship Conestoga. it wasn't all good on board the ship there were hidden plots of what was going to happen when they get to their new home if they live long enough because the trip would not be done for a long time to come.

log entry: 31062887
last accessed by: unknown user

the time has come to settle on our new home with the report of one death and a rebel colony started by the the first clan of Sigma Draconis 4 or "New Terra", they called themselves death shadows in retaliation the other budding colony became known as the gold lions of old earth or "gloe" for short.

log entry:30062887
last accessed by: shadow paw

camera initializing...
view is being accessed by unknown recipient on public communications...
link is confirmed patching through...

   "is this thing on?"
   "yes"

   "hi people out there,"a man on the screen says as he looks back and asks, "computer why is it we need to keep video logs again?"
   a voice came from nowhere saying "its to monitor the psychological conditions of all passengers on this flight."

   "you sound like an old airline pilot of old earth when you talk like that."
   "does that bother you?"
   "it does bother me a bit only because it sounds like this is a regular thing."
   "do you wish for me to change me vocal output?"
   "no..." the man twitches nervously.

   he gets a call on the com line, he exhales with relief as he notices the person trying to contact him.

   "do you wish me to patch this link through?"
   "yes i do, Skani," a tall dark figure appeared on the visual next to him.
   "is the line secure, Alex?" she seemed frightened as if something was going on that people would call treason if let out.

   Alex or so it seemed he was named went about the task of setting up an illegal secure network on board "i think we are safe now, so what has you worried"

   "tomorrow when we land we are going to have a mutiny of leaders..."
   "and this should worry me why?"
   "they are planning an assassination attempt!" she yelled at him.
   he looked at her skeptically and asked "Skani, have there been any unusual movements on board in the last cycle?"

   "no sir there have been no such reports in the last cycle."
   "see crystal you have nothing to worry about here."
« Last Edit: June 05, 2011, 06:51:43 PM by black phantom »

Offline AmIMeYet

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Lost Generations: Lost Beginnings
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2011, 05:06:12 AM »
I'm quite suprised no one has responded yet..

I decided to give this a read, even though the lack of capitalization and punctuation where a real turn-off. Besides, there must be some tools out there to check texts for errors like this.

I found it a bit difficult to understand which character was talking or doing something.
Quote
"do you wish me to patch this link through?"
"yes i do, Skani," a tall dark figure appeared on the visual next to him.
"is the line secure, Alex?" she seemed frightened as if something was going on that people would call treason if let out.
Alex was the man, the figure was the woman (I think she is later referred to as Crystal) and Skani the Savant, right? That part was especially difficult because you introduced 2-3 characters quite quickly.

That said, it was pretty cool. B)
I really hope you have a good plot in store for us!

Offline black phantom

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Re: Lost Generations: Lost Beginnings
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2014, 02:59:17 AM »
as the person who created this small piece of literature my account pretty much went inactive till now, because to my surprise someone actually responded to this. It's even more surprising after being embarrassed cause one time I posted something on here and tried to have it fit to the outpost universe from when I played outpost 1 I was questioned what it had to do with outpost in general and more so since there wasn't a place for OP1 lit I had posted on the OP2 lit section and people were more confused because of the fact it had nothing to truly do with outpost 2. My Idea was the life of everyday colonists in one of the colonies but lack of idea and direction let alone embarrassment and inability to write reasonable well without input made it hard so my last post to close me out originally was...

some die soon others die sooner only those select few who made mistakes live for eternity... my mistake was to be a mortal. - AAM aka BP

hopefully those that read this on this dead post can understand. My embarrassment was too much to handle.

Offline black phantom

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Re: Lost Generations: Lost Beginnings
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2014, 03:01:59 AM »
ps hopefully I can find a way to erase my mistake of even creating the white void post.