Author Topic: Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil  (Read 2391 times)

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« on: March 01, 2007, 03:23:19 AM »
Revised


WE LOST ANOTHER TIGER RPG THERE TURRNING ON THE POWER PLANTS!! “yelled Tactical Officer ACE”
Divert EMP and RPG  tigers to cover the power plants! “yelled Commander Leviathan”
WARNING THE BLIGHT IS APROTCHING Location 123,123” “screamed the Computer”
Crap, status on the last escape module! “demanded commander Leviathan”
95% loaded, 98%, 100%!
Sir!, There converging on the Spaceport! “shouted  Ace”
Divert all units to cover the CC and SP then get to the transport! “yelled Leviathan”
Ill set the auto launch sequence, "Shouted Commander. Leviathan"
"WARNING THE BLIGHT IS APROCHING Location 120,110", "Sounded the Computer overlay"
"Leviathan," Go! Get to the Transport! Auto launch sequence has been set....

I remember that day clearly, watching the Scouts click off on the
monitors as they were Infected by the Blight.
My name is Miles Micartlay im a Scientist.
Its been 2 years Sence I watch the Eden and the Renegades Starships
launch from New Terra, but now here I stand,
Watching a transport carrying the Representatives from Eden and the Renegades to attempt and make an alliance.
Our supplies are to thin separate but united mankind may stand a chance."

Hey Miles! "Said Leviathan."
Hm? oh hello Commander, "I said."
Well... There they are, can you believe were finally gona try and make an alliance? said Leviathan
"I didn’t respond just watched."
Well ill see you at the REC area later then. "Said Leviathan"
"i didn’t say anything just waved."


CRAP IM LATE!!, "Yelled Sinior Council Member (or SCM) Sava as he rushed by us."
"He was in a rush to get to the docking bay he was sapost to meat the representatives when they arrived."
Lift E is out!, "I yelled after him."
"All I heard from him as a response was S***."
He’s always late i wonder how he became a SCM. "said Leviathan"
I have no idea. "i said"

"later that day in Briefing Room (or just BR) 1A"
Ok gentle men, "said Save"
As you can see Scout Probe 885 has detected a planet much like earth.
But dose that mean this planet has Life? "asked the Eden representative"
Yes, and a rich one but no organisms like us although there are ruins of what appear to be an ancient civilization, "said Save"
Ruins? "said the Renegades representative"
Yes, "save said as he keyed in some commands and the Holo emitter in the table purred to life"
As you can see the planet is a good distance from the sun with 2 moons
1 appears to be a artificial 1.
Meaning?" cut in the Eden reprehensive"
Meaning its fake its a holed out moon probably used by the race for storage or something. "said the commander Leviathan."
thank you. "said save"
As you can see by the readings the planet’s habitat is hospitable for us. "said Save"
Hm I can see Y you called us here the planet is big, full of life and breathable air and to far to reach for any of us. "said the Eden representative"
You have our saport when do we begin?" said the renegade representative"
Yes I’m eager to see the planet my self" added the Eden representative"
Soon, thank you for your saport gentlemen this is a new dawn for man kind “finished Save"


TO BE CONTINUED



if you want to be added to story just ask and ill see what i can do
 and thx to Leviathan for inspiring me
Also i need a good word document

credits
Leviathan <inspiration (thumbsup)
Eddie-B <Nice game But level 3 i still haven’t beat but i will one way or another :ph34r:
SaventAce <like your mod B)
Miles Mc. Cartley <encouraging me       :D
 
« Last Edit: April 25, 2007, 05:29:39 PM by DarekStar »
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline Savant 231-A

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 487
    • https://www.outpost2.net
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2007, 12:05:07 PM »
and me...? aheeemmmmm.... i mean... nice novella. ust a little bit too short and a lot of grammar faults
Gordon Freeman, and mr. Crowbar would own Master Chief in any part of the day.
"Come here citizen."

"From the ashes of the collapse we seek to build a better world for all."

Offline Brazilian Fan

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 303
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2007, 01:27:31 PM »
Strange......    :heh:  

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2007, 03:03:47 PM »
Revised chapter 2 look down
« Last Edit: April 25, 2007, 05:30:17 PM by DarekStar »
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline Brazilian Fan

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 303
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2007, 03:30:22 PM »
Where are you from?

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2007, 03:47:32 PM »
USA tennissee
 
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline Kurgan

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 32
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2007, 03:50:24 PM »
Hmm... Wouldn't make a bad plot. Can use some improvements as mentioned above, but I personally think, with the proper skill in using grammar and expressing your ideas in a way that makes complete sense, you could be well on your way to a good story. Just ask me for any help you need, I'll be more than happy to.

-Kurgan Out!-  :op2:

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2007, 04:27:31 PM »
thx i will
 :D  
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline Savant 231-A

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 487
    • https://www.outpost2.net
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2007, 01:41:42 AM »
Darek, it would help if you would read the novella, and other op2 novellas (game novellas) and than a you can make an excellent novella.

--edit by op2hacker: don't make fun of other people's grammar thx.--
« Last Edit: March 03, 2007, 08:07:40 PM by op2hacker »
Gordon Freeman, and mr. Crowbar would own Master Chief in any part of the day.
"Come here citizen."

"From the ashes of the collapse we seek to build a better world for all."

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2007, 06:34:35 PM »
I have been playing the game cence it game out.
whana play op1 but thats another story
and iv read all the novells posted


Found an editer woot
« Last Edit: March 02, 2007, 09:54:23 PM by DarekStar »
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2007, 05:31:00 PM »
Revised Chapter 2

Observe now “said Chief Engineer  Fox”
“The younger trainees watch in amizement as Fox Manuverd the Contatoga’s docking clamp into place in the Saratoga’s Space-dock port”
That’s how you do the manuver remember that. “finished Fox”
Impressive “complamented Eddie” The suplies should be transferd in 2 to 3 days.
That’s good what about the cold-sleep pods? “asked Leviathan”
They should take about 4 days “I said”
Can it not be done faster?
Not if you don’t want any waking up. “I responded”
Well than keep up the good work gentlemen. “finished Leviathan as he left the room”

21/11/4 ANT

This is the last 1 we will be ready to go in 4 hours. “said Leviathan as he walked onto the bridge of the Saratoga”
Good id like to take a look at this planet up close. “responded Captain Ace”
After the blight on New Terra and his bravery in rescuing hundreds of trap civilians he was promoted to Captain”
Lay in a course 4187.2412.12.
Aye aye sir “responded the helms officer”
We will move out once the loading is compleat. “Finished Ace”
You realize that the chances of there being no harmfull bactiria in the planets ecosystem is slim we will still have to use the  Pheonix moduel. “I said”
Is there all-ways a catch? “Asked Eddie”
Almost “I answerd”

“Meanwhile in cold sleep chamber 1A”
That’s the last one lock it in place and lets get out of here. “said Fox”
You don’t like seeing people in cold sleep? “said Trainee Jones”
They look dead… gives me the creap’s. “he said”
There alive chief “said another Trainee”
Remember this Fox is afraid of death so if he fails someone…. play dead! “I said joking”
Haha “said Fox” Remind me to do something special for you on your next birth day “he said with a evil looking smirk.”
Are we ready to go? “I asked”
Yah we can go ”he responded”
Good come every one into a chamber. ”I said”
Yes sir “responded the trainees”
Well cya when we get there. “I yelled at Fox”
M’kay cya. “he responded as he climed into the chamber”
“The chambers closed and all was quiet.”

End of chapter 2
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him

Offline DarekStar

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 79
Outpost- Ocurrance Of Evil
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2007, 07:51:03 PM »
Chapter 3

Main computer online….
Checking systems…….
Unknown transmission detected….
Analyzing …..
Error transmission lost……..
Error internal system analyzing…..
Initiating Protocol 1a-72b
Activating thawing process on pods 1A,34B and 27C…….
Activating bio-scanners……
All vital signs green……
Bringing pods to unloading port A….

The lights in Cold sleep chamber 4A buzzed then pop 1 by 1they lit up the gigantic chamber witch looked more like a nest with a bowl shape outer rim and the cold chambers stacked in the center
Massive crane’s rolled silently on rails on the ceiling bringing the 3 pods to the thawing port
Each pod egg shaped opened and Commander Leviathan, Chief Engineer Fox and I climbed groggily out.
“Ugh, feels like we were quick thawed.” I complained
“Looks like it.” replied Fox
“Is anyone  awake?” I asked
“No, were the only ones.” replied Leviathan
“ were we awaken are we there?” I asked
“You’re the scientist.” Fox Responded
“Ill just go to the bridge.” Leviathan said

We entered the Bridge to find the main moniter alive with activity numbers scrolling across in the familier self analization.
“Looks like the computer is malfunctioning.” Said Fox
“You think?” I responded
“Lets just see what triggered this.” Cut in Leviathan breakin us apart before our quick thawed attitudes put us at each others throats.
I grumbled something as I settled down into a computer station.
“Hmm, looks like the sensors registerd an unknown transmission.” I said as I looked at  the records
“Transmitted from where?” asked Leviathan.
“I cant tell the computer malfunctioned when it tried to track it.” I responded
“Well it doesn’t look to serious lets just get the ship underway again” Leviathan said.
“I agree.” Added Fox.
“same.” I added

Later that day….
“There I fixed the computer it shouldn’t malfunction again” I said as I re entered the bridge.
“Good” Responded Leviathan “Just in time Fox just called up.”
“And!?” I said in anticipation
“He said all systems check out no other errors have been detected.” he responded
“Excellent” I said. “can I go back to sleep?” I asked
“Yah sure” Leviathan said “We all should its still 3 months to the target”
I set the systems on autopilot and we returned to the cold-sleep chamber.


End Chapter 3
 
-Darek

Caution this user refuses to spell check or even try and spell corectly unless posting a story.

so bare with him