Author Topic: Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"  (Read 2209 times)

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« on: January 07, 2007, 05:26:40 PM »
Alright, first up a general overveiw, and a disclaimer.
Disclaimer first: There are bleeped profanities in this story, and occasionally really, really large words.  :lol: This is also written in wordpad and uploaded chapter by chapter. I will answer any questions you happen to have. Also, I need feedback. If I churn out something that doesn't make sense, or that's canon-breaking, let me know immediately, for I have failed. I take constructive criticism for all it's worth, so if it makes sense and what I have doesn't, I'll take the advice and change it. Hmm... Last disclaimer: Names. Rarely do I use recognizable names in my stories. I usually decide what sounds either "cool", or something that "fits" the character. Anyway... First chapter and the introduction to the story (in other words, it's rather shorter than a normal chapter):
A Second Chance
Chapter 1 - A Chance Discovery
The immense SkyDock floated serenely overhead, the starship poised perpetually to leap into the far reaches of the stars. Ever since they were forced to evacuate from New Terra, the former Edenites had constantly kept their vigilance in case the one disaster that could "never happen" sent them running for their lives yet again.
Even though they hadn't met with any hostile relations since their transfer to the place they refered to as "Second Chance", they still had numerous defensive and offensive vehicles poised on the borders of their ever-expanding colony. Fijona found it a tasteless job to moniter these units, but it was her job after all.
"I swear... They pull these things out of their a****... What happened to that 'promising position' they were talking about when I signed into the workforce?" She thought to herself, shaking her head and sighing loudly.
Suddenly one of the scouting units on patrol around the colony borders reported in: "~Unusual activity detected.~"
She keyed in the command to investigate, and the scout moved off, barely keeping within the range of her display.
A harrowing announcement returned from the scout: "~Unidentified structure sighted, minor damage, requesting survey team~". It flashed over her screen for some time before the shock wore off and she picked up her comm link.
"This is Fijona Orinos to command staff, scout 2-21 is detecting an unidentified, uninhabited structure. It is requesting a survey team be sent immediately to its location."
Her eyes were glued to the screen now, watching with a keen interest as the blue dot marking the survey team quickly plodded off radar. At this point, she only wished she was the one to talk to them, to hear and know what it was that her scout stumbled upon.
But she was not so lucky. The only consolation she had was the fact that her shift at the RCC ended in a few minutes, and she could take a long break from her personal h***. She looked over at the clock posted on the rear wall of the RCC, shift over! "Finally" she thought to herself as she practically jumped up out of her chair, powerwalking to the hallway door. She looked back over her shoulder at the screen she had been monitering just a second ago, hoping that she wouldn't be the last one to find out what she'd just stumbled on by chance.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2007, 05:30:30 PM by Kurgan »

Offline Brazilian Fan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2007, 07:45:33 AM »
(thumbsup)  

Offline Leviathan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2007, 04:00:54 PM »
Thanks for your work :)

I like it!

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 11:51:57 AM »
Thanks. Got hit with finals week for first semester, so progress'll be a bit slow on chapter 2. But it'll address more of what life is like inside the colony, and what the scout managed to uncover. Thanks again for the encouragement, it's the little things like that, that make writing so rewarding. I hope to post chapter two before the week is out, but we have a four day weekend this week, so it shouldn't be too hard to accomplish.

Edit 1: Cause - To update on my situation. You see, I had an issue with... About half of chapter two. The event that made the ending of the chapter was poorly done, so I scrapped it. This also means that a lot of work went "Ka-froof" then and there. So I'm a bit behind, to put it mildly. Sorry for the problem.

- Kurgan Out.-   :op2:
« Last Edit: January 19, 2007, 08:12:59 PM by Kurgan »

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2007, 06:12:23 PM »
Chapter 2 - Rude Awakenings
Not that she hated being called in for a meeting with the command staff, she hated being called in for a meeting in the early morning hours. It was light outside, but that didn't matter on their "second chance", Earth time it was still supposed to be dark out, even New Terra time it should've been dark, but not on "Second Chance" thanks to the two suns that orbited opposite each other.
She let out a loud sigh and sat indian style on her "bed" a minute or two before actually getting up and getting her clothes on.
The space she called her home was in residential structure 4-A, but as a "residence", it had only the bare essentials, sometimes not even that. The former Edenites tended to call these rooms "boxes", due to just being a grey-metal square with a door, and maybe a window. Furnishings were payed for by stamps you obtained from working, command got the highest level stamps, students the lowest.With these stamps you could get food, water, furnature, and even included bigger and better rooms in an Advanced Residence if you amassed enough.
She exited her "box" and as the door slid shut behind her, she pressed a few buttons it's keypad. This did two things: It locked the door, and it opened a small hatch about a meter to the left of the door. In it was her hover-scooter. Since their time on New Terra, Eden's scientists had remained busy coming up with new conveniences and such for the colonists. The nearly collapsable hover-scooter happened to be one of these conveniences.
These vehicles were all over Second Chance,  they had the seat and floor of a moped. In fact, they were almost identical to one except for one thing: they had no wheels and a slightly serated bottom for the hover-jets, not to mention the standard blue and grey color scheme, like all Eden vehicles and structures have.
She pressed a button on the control bars and with a dull hum the hover-scooter unfolded. She swung her leg over the seat and sat down, getting situated before twisting the right bar and shooting off to the nearest exit.
She tried to remember the turns she needed to make to get to the commander center as she zipped along the tube.
"From the residential area you take a left... Or was it go straight?... Damnit!" She grumbled to herself as she zig-zagged around the occasional person you'd see walking through the tubes. She took a right turn around another tube section and immediately came to a screeching halt, if she had wheels. The scooter slides to a halt and nearly falls on its side. But it was still better than smacking into the massive door, stamped with the giant three-fourths symbol of Eden.
"Well, this isn't the right-"
Before she can finish, a loud "Clack" tears through the air as the locking mechanism of the door unclamps, the huge symbol breaking in the middle and slowly retracting into either wall. As the two peices "break apart", and slide into the walls to either side, she notices there are two armed guards standing by to both sides.
She immediately realizes that this really is the command center, the true command center of Eden, housed in what once was one of the new styles of advanced lab and since modified to be a sprawling structure that encompassed what otherwise would be two command center and a residence worth of space. That was plenty space for all the functions of a government anywhere, and more than that.
She cursed under her breath, she almost went back the way she came! She swings herself off the scooter and leans it against the nearest wall, then walking, very quickly I might add, into the Eden Council Center. The breifing room wasn't far away, that's where they'd be meeting her.
She rounded the corner and the door automatically opened for her, swishing open with a satisfying "shick" noise. The leaders of Eden were huddled around a long metal table. The room wasn't much to look at save for a massive black wall that served as a display when needed. It was really quite impressive to see an entire wall illuminated with readouts, maps, and other tactical information. But that wasn't what she was here for.
The head councilman, a man by the name of Brook Panati, looked up as she entered. The other councilmen and women, numbering about thirteen, immediately stopped talking.
Brook Panati, his stature as it was, still wasn't too much of an overwhelming figure. He made up for it, though, with his personality. She'd heard that he changed compeltely after they were forced to flee New Terra, but she wasn't so sure. He seemed like he'd always been the way he is, and that he was too stubborn to change.
"There she is. Sit down, we have something we need to talk about." Panati smiled warmly, motioning to a chair on the opposite side of the table from him and the Councilmen and women.
She twists it to the side and sits down, spinning the chair around to look back over the table. It seems too impersonal to her. There's too much space to talk across for her liking.
One of the councilmen speaks up, "We felt that, as the one who uncovered the 'crater building', you deserved to be the first to know what we happened to find there."
A woman butts in, picking up right where the man left off, "What our survey team discovered... Was a giant building, we've seen a factory in the first floor, but we're not sure what it's purpose is, or what's on the other floors."
She pauses for a breath, then continues, "your job is going to take on a new importance as we send vehicles to guard this 'ghost' building. We can't take any unneccesary risks here, it has the potential to be too costly in resources for anything other than a minimal guard force."
Fijona raises an eyebrow, red flags being thrown up everywhere in her brain. "Wait a second. What're we guarding against, exactly? We're the only ones here, our satillites confirmed it."
A nervous laugh emminates from the council, raising more red flags.
"We thought we were the only humans left in the galaxy, but this discovery proves us to be very, very wrong. Initial testing of the structure shows it to be only a few years old, coinciding with our landing on New Terra. We're not sure where they went, but we have to be careful now, they could be back any time."
Fijona noticed Panati nervously looking around the room at the faces of his comrades. She looks around as well, and notices a tension that she didn't see before. She knew immediately that the council knew something that they were not yet willing to divulge.
"Anything else I need to know? It sounds like I'll be busy the next few days." Fijona says.
The reply, a nod from the council, followed by "You'll be the first to know of any additional developments. You're free to go."
She twists her chair in a 180, standing and quickly walking out. She still has five hours left until her shift, and she wants to spend it all sleeping and reorganizing her thoughts. Tomorrow would bring a new day, today was enough of a rude awakening for her, and for all of Eden, soon enough.

Edit1: Aaargh! I havn't had the time to write anymore! School work and a sport has dragged me into the pits which no writer ever wants to find himself. I'm sorry about this, but ASC will be delayed... A lot.
Until we meet again, OPU,
-Kurgan Out!-  :op2:  
« Last Edit: February 27, 2007, 04:16:58 PM by Kurgan »

Offline 7842303

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2007, 07:22:03 PM »
aww i likee the story!!!!!1 :'(  
onword to battle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unless your tired, of cource

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2008, 10:03:28 PM »
Guess who's back?! I think it's high time I started writing "A Second Chance" again. Progress will be slow, but better than nothin', eh? Heh. So much for an update, but awa~y I go!  (thumbsup)  

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2008, 10:49:53 PM »
Since it's been a while since my last post, I'm just going to double it up. "Chapter Three: Paranoid Intuition" has been officially started due to my procrastination problems. I wouldn't have this problem if it was a serious assignment rather than an interesting little diversion... A sort of hobby.
Life is treating me good, so I can treat "ASC" with the respect it deserves. Expect more frequent posts out of me...
Besides, Principles of Chemistry... One... Is the perfect time to write. So that's fifty-five minutes per day devoted to writing. Isn't that wonderful?  :heh:
Besides, my major is Mechatronics. What the h*ll can I do with chemistry? Make things more shiny?  :yawn:  

Offline Kurgan

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2008, 06:38:20 PM »
I've finally decided to give it up. Things aren't getting done and things are spiraling out of control straight into the drink in a burning, hulking mass of twisted metal. I believe this will be the last time you hear from me. What little there was to hold my interest and effort has been peeled away a la the movie "Face Off", and all that's left is the mutilated muscle.

I wasn't contributing anything anyway, my loss won't matter to the community. Keep Outpost strong, don't scare away new users, and Sirbomber... Keep being yourself. You're the reason I stayed on as long as I did. Freeza... I really didn't like you. I think I got that across, but I might as well slam it onto the table here at the end. Heh... I'll probably get deleted for that comment... Or silently edited, as is more normal... Which is probably why I didn't post very much.

Anyway, except for Freeza, the resident troll, it's been nice to meet all of you, and even nicer to see such a great game remain alive in the hearts and minds of a dedicated group of fans. I hope your efforts to keep it alive continue to grow and develop, as I also hope the fanbase does. I hope all of you have, or continue to have, nice lives. Goodbye, and good night.

Offline Sirbomber

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2008, 07:48:12 PM »
Ouch.
Well, it'd be a shame to see you go, but I've learned there's no point in trying to stop you.
See ya around, I guess.
"As usual, colonist opinion is split between those who think the plague is a good idea, and those who are dying from it." - Outpost Evening Star

Outpost 2 Coding 101 Tutorials

Offline Hidiot

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Kurgan Novella: "a Second Chance"
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2008, 05:00:20 AM »
Shame you should let one person get to you >_>

But loss of interest does occur.

If you feel like coming back, don't hold back! Each and every (more civilized) person around here is a contribution.
"Nothing from nowhere, I'm no one at all"