Outpost Universe Forums

Off Topic => Test/Spam Forum => Topic started by: Hooman on February 15, 2008, 12:25:54 AM

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on February 15, 2008, 12:25:54 AM

Puns anyone?


He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Atheism is a non-phrophet organization.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on February 15, 2008, 01:47:20 AM

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.


and my personal favorite, a true newspaper headline:

Man struck by lightning gets battery charged

Title: Puns
Post by: Sirbomber on February 15, 2008, 06:12:39 PM

The best puns are situational. If you just repeat them out of context, they're not as much fun.
I hope you don't punish me for saying that.

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on February 15, 2008, 06:37:18 PM

Ok, we need to pun-ish Sirbomber now.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on September 09, 2008, 02:43:27 AM

Gee, what a shame this thread has been dead for so long.  ;)


The workers at the inn are very unfriendly. They create a hostel environment.

Sick fish go to the sturgeon.

My girlfiend once gave me a valentine made of soft leather. What a suede heart.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on September 30, 2008, 07:00:42 PM

don't forget that an elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on September 30, 2008, 11:19:43 PM

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
 

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on October 01, 2008, 11:45:55 AM

He liked playing cards but was trying to re-deuce his gambling.

and on the topic of money...

Some people make big pottery items to urn a living.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on October 01, 2008, 05:59:10 PM

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on October 01, 2008, 07:53:04 PM

Those who like sport fishing can really get hooked.

The number of kangaroos and wallabies meant for the new wildlife enclosure grew by leaps and bounds.

A hawk sat atop a church because it was a bird of pray.

Gravity, it's always putting everyone down.

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on October 01, 2008, 09:28:26 PM

A backwards poet writes inverse.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on October 02, 2008, 11:16:06 AM

During branding cowboys have sore calves.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: Hooman on October 02, 2008, 05:26:07 PM

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
 

Title: Puns
Post by: Sirbomber on October 02, 2008, 06:25:25 PM

The way Hooman keeps punning, his son will have to be named Punboy.
Oh, wait...

Title: Puns
Post by: Conestoga on November 20, 2008, 12:09:14 PM

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

All the money in the world is tainted, it taint yours and it taint mine.

The Conestoga :op2:

Title: Puns
Post by: CK9 on December 05, 2008, 10:08:11 AM

I had to find my watch dog, I didn't know the time.